This online world is a constant battle with myself. One part of me hates it. These screens and internet and wifi and all this fake bullshit. Another knows it’s the only way to get hyper connected and build a system for myself that can keep me alive.

So there is this war in my head and body. Just turn off all the machines and focus on guitar, singing, writing, reading and listening to compact discs. No!!! You gotta get on twitter and build an audience. Nobody even knows you exist ya fakken tosser!

Oh man. It’s relentless.

You should hear all the crazy things I tell myself. And I’m a good listener…

The days are long and by the end of ’em I am grateful for just having survived these mind wars. And can’t help wonder if I would be happier just being a taxi driver in the big city. I would get a revolver and before going to work pose in front of the mirror asking myself if I feel lucky. What are you looking at handsome? Then wink and go out there and win!

I would have all kinds of crazy clients who would babble on about their trivial nonsense meanwhile I am smiling and driving and fantasizing about future riches and recording my songs in expensive studios in dangerous countries. And how I will immserse myself in foreign cultures, learn their languages and dance moves.

What the hell are you doing with your life now then bigshot?

Honestly I dont even know anymore. Days fly by. Days become months and months become years. I don’t wanna go anywhere or see anyone. I’m sick of being broke and not being able to live the way I want to. And I don’t really want to perform anymore. It gives me too much stress. I look at the famous musicians and bands and feel grateful i don’t have to do what they do. All the cool rock stars have died a long time ago. There are a few left but they are 30 years past their best before date and i feel sorry and embarassed for them. What can I say, rehab is expensive. Especially for celebrities! And their children and grand kids are probably just as fucked up as them. Most celebs are satanists. That’s how you climb the ladder. No thanks.

The coaching, online marketing, copywriting, ebooks, courses, memberships way of life looks like easy money that any turd brain can do. I had a few clients a few years ago and hated it. I pretended to care and pretended to give them good advice and pretended I know what I’m talking about. I don’t know shit. And nobody else does either. I think the online business thing works because it’s a community where they’re all jerking each other off and once you get to one level you can move up and make room for turdbrain newbies at the lowest level. Just like any good ol’ MLM scam.

My artist self thinks he is beyond all that stuff so keeps to himself as a master of the shadows when the truth might be far more brutal: you can’t even get to turdbrain level!! LOL

Now I am fully aware that this might now be the drifter/devil talking and doing his little dance. He does not want any of us to succeed. He wants us to remain in our place. Miserable. Broke. Tired. Addicted. Ashamed.

I’m onto you mister!!! I know your ways. And next month you are getting purged from my system. Yeah that’s right. I am gonna juice your ass back to where you belong: In the dark wastelands of hell! And there’s absolutely nothing you can do to stop it. You are already starving that’s why you peddle your BS about the coaches and entrepreneurs and healers who actually help people. And you are trying to get me to join you on your quest to destroy the world. Not happening. I am too strong for that and I have 15 guardian angels.

I have already quit booze and pills and animal products. Never gonna touch that junk again. And on my way to a happy future full of money, energy, love and creativity. Just gotta do a proper juice cleanse to get rid of Beelzebub from the colon. I have a plan. Everything is going forwards and nothing can stop what is gonna happen. So how do you like them apples?

Songs and films and books to inspire people.

Coaching, courses and videos to help them transform.

I really enjoy working on songs but I also enjoy having deep conversations with people who are interested in this stuff. That is why I write. Because I am helping myself. And I am interested. And crazy as a whistle.

Truth is, I have no idea what I’m doing.

Just surviving.

Staying alive
Staying sane
Staying home (lol)

Everything else is poetry

Right now I feel… dirty.

Just so much filth and gunk in my mind, heart, body, environment.

I want to be clean.

I want clarity.

I want joy.

I want to be a millionaire.

Move to Dubai. Find a beautiful girl who doesn’t eat corpses from the animal holocaust nor take jabs from the Bill Gates foundation of psychos. I will go out and meet other people. Have fun. Talk. Drink juices. Dance and mingle. Live in a really nice place with a great view. Befriend other millionaires at the health club. Take part in their orgies of delight. Where do you want me? i will ask with the kind of humility that only retired conmen can appreciate.

Live the Dubai high life and make high art.

And now a word from our sponsor…


Higher self time!

“HALLELUJAH!! Just keep going man. Don’t give up. Write when you feel like you have nobody else to talk to. Writing is great for that. Writing and art is your friend and therapist and healer. That’s what it’s for. Normies dont get it and dont need it. They are a bunch of slaves. Liberate them with your art! Your higher and lower selves represent us all. We are all struggling with this same stuff. Finding meaning. Finding beauty. Finding rest from the storms. Nobody wants war. Those people are confused. All the politicians are severely constipated. Look at them!!!! THEY ARE CLOGGED UP. And probably have been for decades. Keep sharing. Keep reading. Keep enjoying life. You are free. Everything is going well. You are building your dream life. Creating a new community The money will come. Don’t get too caught up in the labels of what this is and what it isn’t. Art. Business. Coaching. Writing. New age. Blablabalbaaaaaaaa. It doesnt matter what you call it. It is all the same thing. Inspiration. Empowerment. Healing. Help people. Help yourself. Smile. Move your body. Only put good things into it. Think good thoughts. Have fun. Be kind. Not just towards earth, animals but other humans (for most it’s the opposite… they are kind towards humans but abuse animals and the earth). We all deserve love. Build a business that is about all this. You love it all. It takes time. Stop deleting shit. Stop disappearing. Need consistency. Takes years. Otherwise nobody will trust you if you always abandon ship. Grow up. Wake up. Rise up. Long term approach. You dont need to start again. Start where you are and continue from there. Lighten up. You know the drill. If things get too crazy and overwhelming, just have a laugh. Watch a movie. Listen to some good songs. Friends? Family? They just wanna see you happy and successful. You are a misfit. An outcast. Accept that. You are not a follower of herds. You will never fit in. These people are looking for someone to help them and lead them. So do the work. And when you are ready to show them the way, do it. Until then stay away from ALL humans. They dont get what you are trying to do. Success. Mastery. Immortality. BIG DREAMS! To walk the road less travelled is to become a crazy person. Like Henry Miller wrote: To be joyous is to be a madman in a world of sad ghosts. Keep tweeting. Start making vids. And recording your new songs. Chronicle your journey also with vids. People will love them. Or not. Who gives a fuck? Give them a chance. Put your content out there. It will find the right people. TRUST THE GODS because we got yo’ back.”

Other me: Up yours higher self! I am the only God in this town. Stop distracting me with your sandcastle spirituality woowoo nonsense. I got songs to make and inner worlds to conquer! Dont have time for this online business kumbaya bullshit.

My job is simple…

= Feeding hungry souls with sonic sun